You Always Ruin Things
Two people on stage are sitting at a card table on an otherwise empty stage. Person Two has a deck of playing cards and plays solitare on the table. Person One tries to get the attention of Person Two, who remains seemingly oblivious to Person One and continues to play solitaire.
"He would kill us if he got the chance," NOT "He would kill us if he got the chance."
(3 second pause)
Number Eight changes everyone's mind and they find the defendant innocent.
It was Earth the whole time.
Soylent Green is people.
Bruce Willis is a ghost.
"Rosebud" is Charles Foster Kane's sled.
The Matrix is a giant virtual-reality program created by artificial intelligences who drain humans for energy.
That woman in "The Crying Game" is actually a man.
Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker's father.
(with mocking, increased enthusiasm) Titanic hits an iceberg and sinks.
(with the same enthusiasm) E. T. goes home.
By using cynically-named Food for Peace aid, the United States government killed wheat exports from Colombia in the 1950s. This, along with violent compulsion by rich landowners and anti-poor policies in the 1991 Colombian constitution, forced poor Colombian peasants to grow the only economically feasible crop available--coca. The United States responded by training and funding paramilitaries to attack the peasants whose plight we caused under the pretext of a drug war, escalated in the year 2000 by a two-year Clinton Administration military aid package of $1.6 billion. This continues a pattern set by the United States in places like--
(at this point, Person Two, visibly disgusted, throws the cards across the table at Person Two, interrupting Person One and responding loudly)
God, will you shut up already? You always ruin things.
- Chomsky, Noam. The Colombia Plan: April 2000. Z Magazine, June 2000. "